You need not walk alone…

In the face of what’s difficult, compassion motivates us to try and relieve people from physical, mental or emotional suffering.

After introducing Joe and Iris Lawley and Bill and Joan Henderson, both about to lose their sons, a young Anglican assistant chaplain, Reverend Simon Stephens at England’s Warwickshire Hospital, recognized the power of connecting young parents with others experiencing similar losses. The Lawley’s son Kenneth died as a result of a tragic automobile accident while the Henderson’s boy Billy passed after a heroic battle with cancer.

As those grieving suggest, when a child has died it suddenly seems like all meaning has been drained from life. When you wake in the morning it’s difficult to get out of bed. All that was right in the world now seems so wrong.

When you’re newly bereaved, you suddenly find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster—with no idea what is next.

While Stephens saw that these parents would never truly get over the loss of their child, he witnessed the way the Lawleys and the Hendersons were able to help and support each other. Stephens also noticed that the more they talked about their losses, the faster they went through the stages of grief. 

It was as a result of these observations and the willingness of the Lawleys and Hendersons to help out, that Rev. Stephens formed “The Compassionate Friends” (TCF) 1969. Now an international organization, with an active Canadian branch headquartered in Vancouver, TCF’s mandate is to help parents find comfort and support as a result of sharing with others who are similarly bereaved and feeling the intense pain, hopelessness and isolation of losing a child.

The Compassionate Friends credo suggests that surviving siblings, grandparents and other relatives need not walk alone. From the provision of resources, articles and the facilitation of supportive group meetings, on-line chats and annual conferences and events (this year is 47 in the US alone). The non-profit now has more than 500 chapters in 30 plus countries to  provide highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the worst… the death of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild. 

As one member who recently lost a daughter suggests, “compassionate friends has provided me with a lifeline, a confidential connection to others who know, and respect, how I feel, when others can’t.”  

To find a local chapter, support group or refer someone, visit: tcfcanada.net.

Caroline Tapp-McDougall,
Editor/Publisher
caroline@bcsgroup.com